RADICAL HARRY
SCENE ONE:
(Lights up on a rally; Randy is wrapping up his speech)
RANDY: Bli blab blahing, blub bli blab blored. Blaybliklee, bli blo bliv blah blit. Bli blab blib bliss blor bluh blauer bla blessblee, blot bleebluz bli bleelee blare blout blanybling. Bli bleebland bleebluz blit bliz bleeblanded bluv blee. Bli bleed bleebluz bli blahnt blunbee bla blauer. Nothing else matters. Bli blav blassblimiblated. Blau blime blun. Blau bleer bliz blat blode bly blue blelpt blart blall bliss, blarry blay.
(There is polite applause as Randy leaves; Harry takes the stage and the polite applause continues)
JIMMY: Who is he?
AARON: I don’t know. Some old queen who’s been around since forever. Since before the beginning of time, from the looks of it. I guess he founded a couple things.
JIMMY: Well, where the hell are the drag queens? That’s what I came for.
AARON: I think they’re the post-rally entertainment. I came to cruise, but there’s nothing worth looking at.
HARRY: Thank you. My beautiful faerie queer gay Two-Spirit spiritual Berdache fool androgyne queen homophile deviant ‘doubtful sex’ contrary fag priest shaman ‘hidden ones’ Mattachine ‘favorite children’ qedeshim mediator and ‘loving compassionate gay-conscious brothers’ (and sisters who will join us)—hello, and welcome to our movement. We are here, we are queer, and we are filled with spirit.
JIMMY: What did he say?
AARON: I don’t know. I was looking at the hottie over there.
JIMMY: Ooh, yeah, honey, you got that right, girl.
HARRY: I want to talk about our history. Yarotsee roo tuoba klat ot tanaw ee. Gay consciousness. Sensuoicsnoc yag. Beginning. Ganinnigeb. Aurignacian cave paintings. Sagnitniap evac naicangirua. Hetero post-Mesolithic leap. Pael kitilosem tasop oretah. Vision quest. Tase’ook noisive. Totem. Memot. Moon. Noom. Contrary deviant experiencers banished. Dehsinab shrecneirepzay tanaived yarartnock. Connectedness with Spirit World. Dalrow tirips hitew sendetkennock. Our gift from the temenos. Sonemet et morf tafig roo. Women’s dress, not men. Nem ton serd namow. Gay primevals. Slavemirp yag. Mythic memory. Yaromem sittem. Matrilineal Minoan Aegean and its faint echoes in Homer, in Antediluvian (circa 3300 B. C.) Sumerian Temple accounts of the City Goddesses, and in the Canaanite myths of Hither Asia. Temenos. Temenos.
JIMMY: What the hell is he saying?
HARRY (under Jimmy & Aaron’s talking): Temenos.
AARON (while cruising Randy): I don’t know. It’s all Greek to me.
HARRY (under Jimmy & Aaron’s talking): Temenos.
JIMMY: Honey, everything’s Greek to you, girl.
HARRY (under Jimmy & Aaron’s talking): Temenos.
AARON: Except French which, as you know, I like. Though I do much prefer the Greek.
HARRY (under Jimmy & Aaron’s talking): Temenos. (Aloud again) Occasional boys, women’s quarters. Skotioi. Masks. Fools. Masks. Fools. Masks. Performing women’s tasks.
(There is polite applause)
JIMMY: If that means lying on my back getting fucked I’m for it.
(The applause heightens)
HARRY: Fools. Sloof. But now, modern. Naredom, won tub. Aristotelian classification. Noitackifissalk nailetostsira. Cartesian analysis. Sisylana naisetrac. Newtonian formulae. Ealumroff nainotwen. Ensconced in upward spiral of the last secrets of the universe. Objective analysis. Dialectics. Binary. No more mysteries. Then Michelson-Morley. No more. Freud. No more. Heisenberg. No more. The Curies.
JIMMY: Is that a new band?
HARRY: No more. Roentgen. No more. And Becquerel. No more.
AARON: I don’t know. Who’s listening? (Pointing at Randy) Did you see that one?
JIMMY: I don’t find him so interesting.
(Randy crosses to Aaron and they engage in small talk during the following)
HARRY: Certainty no more. Everything relative. Finally and of course, Einstein. No more absolutes. Man-god dethroned. Science forced to move from binary to analog thinking. Forced to move from dialectical to three-dimensional, triangulational, thinking. Sociology, history, psychology, philosophy, no. Still binary-based thinking.
(Ian enters and crosses, stops for a moment to listen)
AARON (pointing out Ian, to Jimmy): Okay, he’s hot.
HARRY: Man.
AARON (to Jimmy): I want him.
HARRY: Woman.
JIMMY: Closet case.
HARRY: Man. Not-man. No middle ground. We, you and I, my gay brothers, we are analog thinkers. Another gift to the hetero masses.
JIMMY: That’s not even Greek. I don’t think it’s a language.
AARON: It’s intellectual or something.
JIMMY: Let’s go. I can’t listen to this.
(Jimmy exits; Aaron stays with Randy, they start to make out during the following)
HARRY: Now today none of that matters. It was all simply the groundwork for a spiritual call to identity.
INGRID: Ian, what are you doing here? Are you . . .
IAN: Ingrid, hi.
INGRID: Are you . . .
HARRY: Gay! Gay! Gay! Gay! In your face! Gay!
IAN: I was just . . .
HARRY: Finding yourself . . .
IAN: Passing . . .
HARRY & IAN: Through . . .
HARRY: Being. Be. Being. Be yourself. Shine like a faerie with the sunshine glimmering on your wings.
IAN: What is this?
INGRID: I won’t tell anyone.
IAN: I’m not here. I don’t belong here.
HARRY: We all deserve to be. (Loudly) YOU (Ian turns and locks eyes with Harry for a moment) deserve to be.
HARRY & IAN: I . . .
IAN: . . . can’t . . .
(Ian starts to head off stage)
INGRID: Wait.
HARRY: I . . . am. I think and I feel, therefore I am. Be, am, with me. Find your you. Feel. Be. Who you are, whoever that is. That is all, thank you. (Polite applause from the audience; Harry points to Ian) John, grab that young man. I must talk to him.
JOHN: Yes, dear. Nice speech, by the way.
HARRY (more or less to himself as John goes to get Ian): Well, some of the queens didn’t like it. And of course the damned assimilationists don’t even know what I’m talking about half the time. And the hetero folks—my words echo back to me off of their skulls. And the younger ones, they have no sense of history. But some, some hear it. Some hear the call. Some understand. Sometimes I complicate things too much.
(John is back with Ian and Ingrid)
JOHN: Harry, here’s the young man you wanted to talk to.
HARRY: Oh, yes, hello.
INGRID: I loved your speech. It was great.
HARRY: Thank you. (Harry looks at Ian) Now you, young man.
IAN: Listen, I . . .
HARRY: No, don’t speak. Don’t move. (Harry starts to touch Ian lightly all over his body, then settles and focuses on his face) Some day we shall dance. (Harry takes John’s hand) John, dear, it’s time to go.
(They exit)
IAN (as they’re leaving): I’m not that way.
INGRID: Huh. That’s it? I thought he was going to impart some really important wisdom or something.
IAN: I’m not that way. Why did I let him touch me?
INGRID: No, why didn’t you let him touch you?
IAN: What?
INGRID: Never mind. You know. Wanna dance?
IAN: I want to go home. That’s all. I want to go home.
(Ian exits; Ingrid dances as does a woman in the corner; lights to black)
SCENE TWO:
(Lights up on Ian sitting in a park; Ingrid enters)
INGRID: I knew I’d find you here.
IAN: It’s my favorite park.
INGRID: So what are you doing here?
IAN: Thinking, praying, I guess that’s about it.
INGRID: I’m worried about you.
IAN: There’s no need.
INGRID: Your Aunt Laura said you haven’t eaten in days. What’s going on?
IAN: I’m fasting.
INGRID: She said you’re starving yourself to death. She said you’re depressed.
IAN: I am. I live in this world.
(Pause)
INGRID: And?
IAN: Aren’t you? Everyone I know is depressed. It’s no big deal. If you have eyes, if you have ears, if you have a heart, you’re bound to be depressed.
INGRID: You’re not thinking of hurting yourself are you?
IAN (half-laughing): No, are you?
INGRID: Thinking of hurting you? Yeah.
IAN: Ingrid, being sad because the world hurts you doesn’t necessarily make you suicidal. Fasting doesn’t mean you’re trying to kill yourself. Besides, you’ve eaten Aunt Laura’s food. Fasting could be considered a healthy choice.
INGRID: So why are you fasting? Religion? Political statement? I’ve never known you to be that religious.
IAN: Do you remember a few years ago when I bumped into you at that one rally?
INGRID: You don’t have to fast to come out, Ian.
IAN: I didn’t say . . . I’m going to ignore that. Anyway, before I bumped into you that day I heard that one really old guy, the one who wanted to meet me, say something about a vision quest. I’ve been thinking about that.
INGRID: And?
IAN: Well, you see, a vision quest is something a lot of the Indians used to do—or maybe they still do—where you fast for a few days and the lack of food causes you basically to hallucinate and when you do you have a vision. Then you take the vision back to the elders and they interpret it for you and tell you what it means, your path in life and everything.
INGRID: So who’s going to interpret this for you? Your aunt? Your priest? I don’t see a lot of Indians around here.
IAN: I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about that. I just need to have it first and worry about its meaning later. I thought I might be able to figure it out. I’m pretty good with understanding my own dreams.
INGRID: Honestly, and I can say this because I’m your best friend, I don’t even think you’re that good with understanding yourself when you’re awake. (He turns to her) But we’ll see. Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re really okay. Your aunt was worried.
IAN: She sent you.
INGRID: Yep.
IAN: She’s great, really, but I couldn’t tell her about this. I don’t think she’d understand.
INGRID: I think she may understand more than you give her credit for. Anyway, I’m relieved that you’re okay. But I don’t want to leave you here alone.
IAN: A vision quest has to be done alone. That much I know. I can’t have you here for it.
INGRID: Let me know how it goes. I’m curious. Maybe I can interpret it for you.
IAN: That would be good. (Beat) Or maybe not.
INGRID: Later.
IAN: Later.
(Ingrid exits, leaving Ian alone; he crosses his legs and sits, almost as if in a trance; lights shift as music and his vision begins. The Sun enters from the east and slowly starts to cross in front of him, almost blinding him; the sound of Wind comes in, soft at first and then building as the Sun moves westward across the sky; the Wind sounds become almost frenzied as the Sun goes down and exits; the Wind gives way to the soft chanting of many Animals; an Old Man enters SL and crosses to center, standing in front of Ian)
OLD MAN: He will come to us from the east
with the sun. Like corn
he will hold spears against the sky.
Like corn he will grow.
I pray to the four corners of the earth.
(A Golden Eagle enters, making eagle sounds as it does; this is Harry dressed like an eagle)
To the wind of the east I pray.
(A Green Mouse enters, squeaking as it does)
To the wind of the south I pray.
(A Black Bear enters, growling, and the Old Man crosses to it)
To the wind of the west I pray.
(A White Buffalo enters, snorting, and the Old Man crosses to it)
To the wind of the north I pray.
(The animal sounds have stopped as the Old Man crosses to Ian again)
I pray to the four corners of the earth.
(The Animals all loudly make their sounds, then stop for one beat, then bring them back in again, slowly raising, then lowering the volume until they are silent again)
To the four corners of the earth I pray.
(The Animals slowly exit as they continue to chant their songs; the Old Man exits; the Animal songs fade out as off stage a scream is heard; a Woman holding a baby in her arms enters; she is crying but no sound comes forth; an Anguished Man enters, but we cannot hear him either; a Second Man in pain enters; finally, an Old Woman in severe pain enters; Ian reaches out for each one as they enter, but he can’t reach them and can’t move from where he is; he is unable to do anything further than reach; Ian collapses and the four anguished people converge on him, lifting their arms to the sky, then back down again, then exit; it is silent; the Sun returns and starts to cross again; as it nears the half-way point across the stage a Full Moon enters and crosses in front of the Sun; the Old Man enters again at the same time; he stands and watches; the lights go almost out; the Full Moon passes and the lights get bright again, and then start to fade as the Sun exits; other Phases of the Moon enter in dim light and the chanting of the animals starts again; the various Phases of the Moon begin to dance with each other; Harry as the Golden Eagle enters again, flies between and around the moons and then takes Ian’s hand and starts walking him in a circle; the Full Moon walks in a circle opposite of them; Harry as the Golden Eagle lets go of Ian and crosses away; the Full Moon speaks as she directs Ian to lie down)
FULL MOON: Hush, little one,
it is time to sleep.
The thrush
will sing for you
a lullaby.
The earth
will sing for you
a lullaby.
(The chanting of the Animals comes in again briefly and then slowly fades out with the lights as Harry as the Golden Eagle & the Full Moon exit; the Old Man lifts his arms to the sky as he exits; the sweet sound of morning birds is heard as the lights fade entirely to black)
SCENE THREE:
(Lights up on Aunt Laura practicing yoga; Ian enters)
AUNT LAURA: There you are, Ian. I’ve been worried about you.
IAN: I know. I heard. You sent a spy.
AUNT LAURA: It wasn’t spying. We were both worried. I said, “Go, find him. Make sure he’s all right.” That’s all. I didn’t say, “Find out what he’s doing. Find out where he’s going. Anything like that.” I just asked her to make sure you were okay. For her sake and mine. I think she likes you.
IAN: She does. She’s my best friend.
AUNT LAURA: No, I mean . . .
IAN: Aunt Laura, I know what you mean. No, we’re friends. Good friends. That’s all. I’m sorry to disappoint you.
AUNT LAURA: Nothing you could do would disappoint me.
(There is a period of uncomfortable silence, which she finally breaks) Oh, you’re in a quiet mood again. (He doesn’t respond) I can hear it, you know. I can hear that it’s not so quiet inside that head of yours. (He doesn’t respond) In fact it’s loud, almost deafening. (Beat) Jeez, let me turn my hearing aid down. (He doesn’t respond) Okay, if you won’t tell me, I’ll ask. What’s going on? Talk to me. You know I care and I’ll understand. (Pause) I love you, Ian. Please trust me.
IAN: I love you too, Aunt Laura, and I do trust you. It’s just . . . it’s something personal. I need to be alone right now, that’s all.
AUNT LAURA: You’re such a sensitive young man.
IAN: I guess.
AUNT LAURA: You remind me of someone I knew back in the 40’s and 50’s. I think you’d like him. I think you could talk to him. He was a man of so many ideas. Like you, I think.
IAN: Who?
AUNT LAURA: His name was Harry. Honestly, I don’t remember his last name. We used to call him Radical Harry because he was such a . . . such a . . . oh, what’s the word I want?
IAN: Radical?
AUNT LAURA: Yes, but no. Agitator, that’s it! He was such an agitator. Back in the 30’s. A union organizer, a card-carrying Communist—why were Communists always card-carrying, that seems strange—a teacher. Generally he was a fighter for the common man.
IAN: You were friends with a Commie?
AUNT LAURA: Well, don’t tell the FBI, but when I was younger I used to run in some pretty wild circles. Like I said, Harry was an activist back in the 30’s, when Communists were honestly and naively trying to save the workingman from his capitalist fate. Before McCarthy and the Red Scare. Before Marxism was demonized. It was a time when Americans would weigh ideas against each other and come to honest opinions about the value of each.
IAN: Huh.
AUNT LAURA: I know, it’s hard to believe. Anyway, I think you’d like him. Nice man, mystical in a way. Gay. I don’t know whatever happened to him. I heard he owned a kaleidoscope factory somewhere. Now, isn’t that queer?
IAN: I’m thinking of going away.
AUNT LAURA: What? Where?
IAN: I don’t know. L. A. maybe, San Francisco, New Mexico, somewhere not here. Here is no good.
AUNT LAURA: I’ve done everything I can to take care of you over the years. I’ve never let you down.
IAN: I know that. This has nothing to do with you, Aunt Laura. It has to do with me. It has to do with me finding my way, finding myself.
AUNT LAURA: Ian, I don’t know how to live without you, but you have to do what you have to do. It’s your life. You have to live it.
IAN: The thing is, I don’t know what I have to live yet. I don’t . . . I don’t . . .
AUNT LAURA: You’ll find it.
IAN: I hope so.
AUNT LAURA: I know so. I wish I could help you.
(Pause)
IAN (smiling): Well, you know, maybe you could find that man you were talking about. Maybe he could help me.
(She smiles; he crosses to her and they hug; lights fade to black)
SCENE FOUR:
(Lights up on Harry and John; they are reading in bed)
HARRY: You know, John, we haven’t left L. A. in a while.
JOHN: Mm-mh.
HARRY: We’ve sort of been stuck here in Smogland for a time.
JOHN: Mm-mh.
HARRY: Just thought I’d mention it. You know how sometimes you get cabin fever in the city.
JOHN: Right. What’s up, Harry?
HARRY: Whatever do you mean?
JOHN: I know when my Duchess is getting at something. What is it?
HARRY: You like Denver, right?
JOHN: You know I do, always have. Except there’s more smog there than here, you know. Or at least as much.
HARRY: We’ve been invited. Not quite to Denver. Up in the hills.
JOHN: I knew something was up. By whom? For what? As if I even have to ask.
HARRY: Oh, you don’t have to ask? You tell me, then.
JOHN: No, go ahead. I insist. Invited by whom? And for what?
HARRY: By little foothill faerie friends. For lunch. (Beat) And then about ten days after lunch for a gathering.
JOHN: I don’t know, Harry. I don’t know if we can afford it.
HARRY: When has that ever mattered?
JOHN: Normally it doesn’t, but this has been a harder year than most. You know that.
HARRY: And now it’s spring. Let’s refresh ourselves. Mountain air. Pure springs. Do you want to go?
JOHN: I always want to go.
HARRY: Then let’s. It’ll be nice to see the mountain pixies again.
JOHN: I’m not sure.
HARRY: What can I do to convince you?
JOHN: Tell me why this one is so important.
HARRY: I can’t, I don’t know. I’m being called. Something in me . . .
JOHN: Then we’ll go. Fuck the money. We’re getting old anyway. Might as well not die with any.
HARRY: Thank you, dear.
JOHN: I know enough that when you feel called . . .
HARRY: We should start packing now.
JOHN: Now?
HARRY: Yes, now.
JOHN: But I thought you said . . .
HARRY (as the lights fade to black): Shh, never mind about that. (Harry starts to unbutton John’s shirt) I’m pretty sure you’ll want to take that top, so we might as well get if off of you right now and put it away. And those shoes, you’ll want to take them, and the pants, of course. (John kicks off his shoes) You can’t go to Denver without those pants. Come on, take them off. (John starts to undo his pants) I’m sure the underwear you’re wearing—are you wearing underwear today? —those will need to be washed, so those should come off, too.
(Lights are out)
JOHN: Harry, that tickles. (Beat) So nicely.
SCENE FIVE:
(Lights up on Jimmy, Aaron, & Randy; Randy is off to the side, playing a video game)
JIMMY (to Aaron): You’re my best friend. You have to go.
AARON: I don’t think I want to, that’s the point.
JIMMY: I really want to go, and I can’t go alone. Come on, Aaron.
RANDY: Explain it again.
JIMMY: It’s an encampment. Of gay men. Where everyone is free to be whoever they are. They talk about life. They connect with nature, with each other.
AARON: Honey, the only camping I’ve seen you do is urban.
RANDY: It’s the faerie thing, right?
JIMMY: Well, I guess so. You can call it whatever you want. But for me it’s a chance to just explore myself and my gay brothers and just be. I’m feeling called to go.
AARON: Then go, Jimmy, nobody’s stopping you.
JIMMY: I can’t do it alone.
RANDY: All right, we’ll go with you.
JIMMY: I thought Aaron said you didn’t want to go.
RANDY: I never said that.
(They look at Aaron)
AARON: I think what I said was that I didn’t think Randy would want to go. Too many fruitcakes for his butch tastes. I didn’t say he wouldn’t. This surprises me.
JIMMY: Oh, does it?
AARON: Well, I’m apparently still getting to know him, despite how long we’ve been together.
JIMMY: I think it’s that you don’t want to go.
AARON: Well, really, those people are not honest drag queens. Maybe I’ll take a wardrobe to really show them how it’s done.
JIMMY: It’s not about that kind of thing.
AARON: You’ve never been. How do you know? I’ve heard stories. Everyone has to wear dresses. You have to participate in weird pagan stuff. You have to play in the mud. There’s sex all over the place.
RANDY: I knew there was a reason I wanted to go.
(Aaron gives Randy a dirty look)
JIMMY: Randy wants to go. See, you have to.
(Pause)
AARON: All right, we’ll go with you. (To Randy) You, dear, I’ll keep a watch on.
JIMMY: Thanks, you guys. And you never have to go back again if you don’t want. Okay?
(They hug)
AARON: Of course. Randy, let’s go home. I need to plan. (Slight pause) And I have plans.
(Aaron gently slaps Randy on the butt as they exit; the lights go to black)
SCENE SIX:
(There is knocking at the door; Aunt Laura enters and sets down some luggage)
AUNT LAURA: I’m coming. Hold your horses.
(She crosses and opens the door; Ingrid enters)
INGRID: Hi, Aunt Laura.
AUNT LAURA: Oh, hello, Ingrid, how are you?
INGRID: I’m fine. I came to say good-bye.
AUNT LAURA: I’m sorry, but Ian already left.
INGRID: I know.
AUNT LAURA: Oh, that’s right. Where is my memory sometimes? You were here for the little going-away soiree.
INGRID: Yes, it was nice.
AUNT LAURA: So, if you’re not . . . how did you know I was going somewhere?
INGRID: Maybe it’s the luggage. I didn’t. I am.
AUNT LAURA: Oh, I didn’t know.
INGRID: Me neither. Where are you off to?
AUNT LAURA: I’m going to look for an old friend. It’s a long story. And you?
INGRID: I’m wandering.
AUNT LAURA: What?
INGRID: Wandering. I don’t know where I’m going. I’m just going. Toward the mountains, I think. There’s always been something about the mountains.
AUNT LAURA: Well, I’m heading that general direction myself.
INGRID: That’s nice. Where?
AUNT LAURA: New Mexico, to start, and then we’ll see from there.
INGRID: Well, good luck, and if you talk to Ian tell him hello for me. I miss him.
AUNT LAURA: Me too.
(They hug)
INGRID: Bye.
(Ingrid starts to cross away)
AUNT LAURA: Ingrid. (Ingrid turns) Women shouldn’t travel alone in this country. I may need some help with things on the way and you shouldn’t be traveling by yourself. Why don’t we double up and save some costs?
(Ingrid thinks about it for a moment and smiles)
INGRID: I think I’d like that.
AUNT LAURA: Well, we’ll see what you say after a thousand miles or so.
INGRID: You too.
(The lights fade to black)
SCENE SEVEN:
(Lights up on Ian; he is hitchhiking, but apparently not having much luck; the sound of a vehicle passes by him; Harry enters opposite, crosses to him, stops, rolls up his pants leg, and sticks his thumb out, too; another vehicle passes, honking its horn as it goes; Ian turns and sees Harry, looks at him as if confused, then finally speaks)
IAN: Hello.
HARRY: I tell you, people are far more
likely to befriend you in numbers than if you’re by yourself.
IAN: Where did you come from?
HARRY: Meaning?
IAN (a little hesitantly): Meaning what I asked.
HARRY: It depends on what you actually asked. I could answer England, where I was born, my mother, from whom I was birthed, across the road if you’re talking about right now, from some other matter if . . .
IAN: I guess I mean now. This is a lonely stretch of road.
HARRY: It depends on what you’re talking about there, too.
IAN: What?
HARRY: The literal road, yes, this part of Colorado is somewhat desolate. The figurative road, yes, every part of it is desolate. Life is a long, lonely, winding road, to paraphrase the Beatles.
IAN: Who are you?
HARRY: I’m sorry, how rude of me. I’m Harry. You can call me Eann if you’d like. Or Duchess. Or if you can think of something better I’m all for it.
IAN: Ian? My name’s Ian.
HARRY: As is mine.
IAN: I thought you said . . .
HARRY: Take your choice.
IAN: Harry. You said Harry.
HARRY: That was one of the choices I gave you, dear. And you are Ian.
IAN: Yes. Anyway, where did you come from?
HARRY: Oh, dear, we’re all the way back to that. I had thought we had progressed much further. It’s my turn to ask you a question. Why are you here?
IAN: Then I guess it’s my turn to answer. I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.
HARRY: Touché, young man, touché. Are you going to The Gathering?
IAN: The gathering?
HARRY: You know, of all the faeries and pagans and queer boys. Oh, my. (He laughs heartily) Friend of Dorothy reference. You know we can never resist it.
IAN: We?
HARRY: We. We. We, we, we, wheee!
IAN: I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
HARRY: Are you hungry?
IAN: Yes.
HARRY: By the way, I should warn you to be very careful. Everything I say has more than one meaning. So you’re hungry.
IAN (tentatively): Yes.
HARRY: And you need rest. You need to lie down.
IAN (tentatively): Yes.
HARRY: Then it’s settled. (Harry takes Ian’s hand and starts to lead him away) You’re coming. You’re going to love it. It will be unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. But you’ll never forget it. Why don’t we walk together?
IAN: Walk?
HARRY (walking backwards as he pulls Ian along): Yes, it’s when you put one foot in front of the other and move forward. The Gathering is near.
IAN (stopping, while still holding Harry’s hand): I don’t really know who you are, and I don’t know what this “gathering” is, so I shouldn’t . . . I don’t know why I trust you, but I do.
HARRY: Instinct, my dear, trust it.
IAN: I feel like I know you.
HARRY: Great. Now if you can only get to know yourself. But that’s why we gather. It’s why we gather.
(Lights fade to black as they exit)
SCENE EIGHT
(Lights up; it is sunset; the sunset almost looks like the light inside a kaleidoscope; a Cowboy stands on the far side of the stage, almost hidden from view; Aunt Laura & Ingrid enter; they are in New Mexico)
AUNT LAURA: My word, I can’t believe the sunset here, how vibrant the light is. Now I know why Georgia O’Keefe stayed here.
INGRID: It’s amazing. Everything is different here, Laura.
COWBOY: It’s ethereal. That’s what my old neighbor used to say.
AUNT LAURA: Oh, hello. Are we . . . is this your land?
COWBOY: This land is your land, this land is my land. Who cares?
AUNT LAURA: We’re looking for . . . I don’t know how to explain. We’ve traveled over a thousand miles . . .
INGRID: Well over.
AUNT LAURA: I’m trying to find . . . we’re looking . . . I’m trying to find an old friend. His name was Harry. I was told he and his partner owned a kaleidoscope factory—I still think that sounds queer—on this land. There was a town several miles back. They sent us this way.
INGRID: And based on their directions this is where it should be.
AUNT LAURA: Obviously we haven’t found him.
INGRID: Or anything like a factory.
AUNT LAURA: So I’m afraid we’re lost. Could you maybe direct us . . .
COWBOY: They moved.
AUNT LAURA: Pardon?
COWBOY: They moved. Back to L. A. Several years ago now. It was a huge loss to the community here.
AUNT LAURA: You knew him.
COWBOY: Yes, your friend Harry, he was my neighbor.
AUNT LAURA: So we do have the right place.
COWBOY: Yes, he was a wonderful neighbor.
INGRID: Laura told me a lot about what he was like when he was younger.
AUNT LAURA: I did. But please tell me what he was like when you knew him. I’m sure there are stories.
COWBOY (as he leads them around): He was the story. He was a man of wisdom and courage. I’m sure you know that. Look. Over here. This is the place he called Temenos, after the Greek word for sacred space, the place where he was told once by an old Indian man—This is where your people lived—(An eagle screeches) your people being the Two-Spirits, the third gender people, the faeries as he would say. He loved this spot more than any other because he felt at home here, because he felt a connection with those who once lived here apart from the rest of the village. Now here. This is where the factory was. They did make kaleidoscopes here, or something like that. (Picking up a colored shard of glass) I always found it interesting that Harry, he created light in this world. He lit the way for others to see. But his partner, John, the man beside him all those years, the thing he did was not create light, but shape it, move it, turn it around so that it became something beautiful and profound. One illuminated things, sometimes with a glare so strong it hurt. The other softened things, made them easier to look at. Together they walked hand in hand through this desert and were seen by the community as these bright, colorful beings who brought gifts to us just by their very presence. They painted the desert with their spirits. (An eagle screeches; Aunt Laura sits as the other two continue walking) Oh, here, let me show you where they lived. It’s a nice place, and people visited from all over . . . (The other two have exited; an eagle screeches; Harry enters, but stays at a distance)
HARRY: Laura. (She looks up) Come with me. (She gets up) Boulder. Faeries. Mountains.
(Harry exits; the other two re-enter)
AUNT LAURA (looking off after Harry): Harry! (They cross to her) Harry?
(Ingrid crosses over to where Aunt
Laura had been looking while the Cowboy crosses to Laura; she repeats the name
one more time, softly) Harry.
COWBOY: Sometimes I see him too.
AUNT LAURA (turning to Ingrid): Ingrid, it’s time to go.
(Cowboy exits)
INGRID: But we just got here. I like it.
AUNT LAURA: Tomorrow, then, to Colorado. I’m being called to the mountains.
(Aunt Laura turns to see the Cowboy is gone, then turns back to Ingrid; lights to black)
SCENE NINE:
(Lights up on Harry & Ian walking)
HARRY: So how long have you known?
IAN: Known what?
HARRY: That you’re “that way”. Or “this way”. Some people go both ways. (Singing) This way and that way. And this way and that way. When Ian was a Cub Scout a Brownie was he.
IAN: I don’t know what you mean.
HARRY: Different. From anyone else.
(Pause)
IAN: My whole life.
HARRY: Honey, it’s okay to be queer.
IAN: You know what? I think I’ve figured that much out. You’re not so wise. I have some gay friends. But just because you want me to be doesn’t mean I am. I don’t really fit in very well anywhere. I’m not some woman in a man’s body. I’m not some macho man in a man’s body. I don’t fit into any of those gay scenes.
HARRY: Once you know and accept yourself, you can create whatever scene you want and you’ll belong. It’s absolutely magical.
IAN: Well, even if I were queer, as you say, I still don’t think I belong. Something’s missing.
HARRY: What?
IAN: If I knew that I wouldn’t be here.
HARRY: You’re searching.
IAN: Yes.
HARRY: For your soul. (No answer) It’s as simple as that. (No answer) You know what?
IAN (sitting): What?
HARRY: This is going to sound oh, so simple, you might even say trite, but it’s true. To get to the end you have to start at the beginning. I don’t think you’ve ever even admitted you’re gay. Once you do that you can find out what it means to you. (Harry sits near Ian) And once you know that, once you know who you are, then you can try to figure out how you fit in to it all. Only then can you start to look into your soul and find your spirit.
IAN: I know who I am. (Long pause) I think I liked boys by the time I was in second grade, the smell of men, the look of a guy’s body.
HARRY: Uh-huh.
IAN: This is so hard to . . . (He rises and crosses away) my father once beat the shit out of me when he found me playing house with another boy.
HARRY: Oh, a girl’s game.
IAN: Even though I was the husband. Even though the other boy was pretend cooking for me. He had an apron on and everything. He was so cute. My father kicked him out. Well, slapped him a couple times and then kicked him out. Then he took me outside and made me play football for five and a half hours. I hated football. I still do. More so now. And he never let that friend come back to my house again.
HARRY: I’m sorry. I’ll bet you still think about him.
IAN: I do. (Pause) Oh, man, there are memories now. A fellow seventh grader. There was another boy, I don’t know, in high school. When I was 17, my father walked in on me and my best friend going at it. And you know what? He didn’t really notice that we were naked. He caught us kissing and freaked out over that. (Harry stands and crosses toward Ian) It wasn’t the sex that bothered him it was the love. He kicked me out of the house and told me never to return.
HARRY (putting his hand on Ian’s shoulder): I’m sorry.
IAN (turning to Harry): So how can I say I’m gay now?
(Harry takes Ian in his arms and hugs him)
HARRY (stepping back): I’m sorry for the past, Ian. Really I am. (Beat) But you just say it. And be it. That’s all.
IAN: I don’t know.
HARRY: That’s all.
IAN (haltingly, taking courage as Harry encourages him): I . . . am . . . I . . . am . . . gay.
(Ian almost laughs)
HARRY: Yes.
IAN: I said it. Gay. I did it. Gay! Gay-Gay-Gay-Gay! In your face gay! Gay! I’m gay!
(Ian falls down laughing as the lights go to black)
SCENE TEN:
(Lights up on Aaron & Randy; they are watching as Jimmy rummages through a box of clothes and other items)
JIMMY: They’re creating this theatrical piece, about the origins of man. I mean about the origins of gay man. Isn’t that great? Our own creation story. I’m looking for a costume.
AARON: You think that’s great? For you, maybe.
JIMMY: Oh, come on, Aaron, get in the spirit.
AARON: Is it a musical? If it’s not a musical you can count me out.
JIMMY: It’s a theatrical piece. They need one more person.
AARON: Honey, I do Ethel Merman or nothing at all. (Breaking into song)
I got rhythm, I got music,
I got my man.
Who could ask for anything more?
I got daisies, in green pastures.
I got my man.
Who could ask for anything more?
JIMMY (raising his hand): I could. But you’d just say no. They’ll do it with one less if they have to, but I think you’d have fun.
AARON: No, no, a thousand times no.
RANDY: I’d do it, but I’m terrified of the stage.
JIMMY: It’s not like it’s Broadway. It’s for a bunch of queer boys out in the woods.
AARON: I’d rather do Broadway. The critics there are more supportive.
RANDY: Maybe another time. (Looking off stage) I thought you said this was a men’s gathering.
JIMMY: Yeah, so?
RANDY (still looking off stage): If those are men they’re the most successful drag queens I’ve ever seen.
(Aunt Laura and Ingrid enter)
JIMMY: I guess a few women show up now and then.
AUNT LAURA: Who was that singing?
(Randy and Jimmy point at Aaron)
AARON: It was I.
JIMMY: It was her.
AUNT LAURA: Quite the pipes. Oh, my, I need to sit down. Catch my breath. I’m winded.
INGRID: Hi. Ingrid. This is Laura.
AARON: Hello, I’m Aaron.
RANDY: Randy.
JIMMY: And I’m Jimmy, the runt of the litter.
INGRID: Nice to meet all of you.
AUNT LAURA: So what are you boys doing?
RANDY: I was going to ask you that.
AUNT LAURA: We’re not boys.
AARON: Neither are we.
RANDY: So what are you doing?
AUNT LAURA: You wouldn’t believe us if we told you.
RANDY: Try it out.
INGRID: I guess we’re here for the gathering.
AUNT LAURA: You see, we were in New Mexico, trying to find a kaleidoscope factory. It was owned by this old Commie friend I knew when I was considerably younger. Anyway, ooh, I’m winded.
INGRID: Well, it wasn’t there anymore. And neither was he.
AUNT LAURA: So I saw him and he told us to come here.
AARON: I thought you said he wasn’t there anymore.
INGRID: He wasn’t. I didn’t see him. But we found out later he founded this group that’s meeting here.
JIMMY: You knew Harry?
AUNT LAURA: Yes, very well. Anyway, it was in the desert.
INGRID: New Mexico.
AUNT LAURA: My guess is I had some kind of hallucination. Anyway Harry told me to come to the mountains. Colorado. So here I am. I hope he’s here.
AARON: You followed a hallucination’s instructions to show up at a queer gathering in the mountains of Colorado. That’s rich, girlfriend.
JIMMY: Aaron, be nice. (To Aunt Laura) I feel like I was called here, too. I understand.
AUNT LAURA: So you didn’t answer. What are you boys doing?
JIMMY: Looking for a costume for the play.
INGRID: There’s going to be a play?
AARON: Well, there’s going to be a bunch of faeries on stage.
JIMMY: Would you like to be in it?
INGRID: Oh, no thanks. It’s your play.
AUNT LAURA: Would that I could. I’m a little too weary today.
INGRID: We can help with the costumes, though. What are you thinking of?
JIMMY (pulling a couple costumes out of the box): Well for the first part I was thinking about this one. It seems symbolic. Then a little bit later I thought I might be able to change into this one. I’m not sure how much time there’s going to be to change. (To Ingrid) Come on, you have to be in it. We need a woman. (To Laura) We could use two. (To the other two) We could use whoever will do it.
INGRID: Okay, I’ll do it.
JIMMY: Oh, goodie. Thank you. Aaron?
AARON: Now a thousand and one times no.
RANDY: I’ll do it. Why not?
JIMMY: All right. Miss Laura?
AUNT LAURA: I can’t. I’m exhausted from the climb.
JIMMY (as he’s getting up with the costume box): We’re supposed to be rehearsing now. We should all go.
AARON: Well, I’m not going to stay here by myself. But I don’t think I want to do this.
AUNT LAURA: You kids go. I’m going to just stay here and relax, be at peace. I’ll come and watch it.
(They all exit, leaving her alone; she stretches, as if tired, and then lies down on the grass; she suddenly lets out a slight gasp, then sinks over; the lights dim, almost fully to dark, and then slowly come back up; Harry enters; there is a bright light behind him, which slowly dims as he crosses to her, sits, and starts to stroke her hair; she stirs)
HARRY: Laura, you heard my call.
AUNT LAURA: Oh, Harry. Finally. Yes, I heard your call. Everyone hears your calls.
HARRY (looking at her): You know, you were among the most beautiful of all my friends. And look at you now, you’re positively radiant.
AUNT LAURA: And you, my dear, you’re as handsome as ever. You know I would have married you once. Of course I didn’t know . . .
HARRY: Of course you didn’t. (Posturing) I was way too butch to give myself away. And you didn’t know about yourself either, did you?
AUNT LAURA: No.
HARRY: No?
AUNT LAURA: Well, if I’m to be honest, yes. But it was a different time back then. The rules were different.
HARRY: And now they’re a little bent.
AUNT LAURA: But you knew? (He nods) How did you know?
HARRY: I can’t explain it. It just is. There are some secrets only gay men know.
AUNT LAURA: Oh, Harry, it’s so good to see you. (She crosses to him) I think the last time I saw you was at a strike somewhere. You were always so political.
HARRY: I think it was that strike where I threw a rock and hit a policeman on the head. That was quite the adventure. I ended up hiding in the basement of some drag queen’s house and had sex with her nephew while we waited for it all to calm down.
AUNT LAURA: Spare me the intimate details. I don’t need to know. I don’t remember the strike, but I can’t imagine you, such a gentle spirit, doing something so violent.
HARRY: Sometimes when faced with violence people react violently. (He suddenly makes a violent motion) Sometimes when faced with unfairness people react unfairly. I didn’t think about it at the time. It was instinct, survival of the fittest. But you know what? Gentle or not I always had a bit of a temper. Gentle or not the adrenaline rushed through me at that moment. I have to admit it was exciting. I felt powerful for the first time in my life. I had taken a stand. It changed my life forever.
AUNT LAURA: Yes.
HARRY: But those days are gone.
AUNT LAURA: They are. So much has happened, Harry. So many things have changed. There is so much time between us.
HARRY: There is no time between us at all. And nothing has changed.
AUNT LAURA: I’ve heard about you over the years. You have changed. I’ve heard that you were a leader in the gay community. I’ve heard that you were out before anyone even knew what being out meant. I’ve heard that you started this back-to-earth, pagan, fairy thing, whatever it is. I came looking for you to get your advice.
HARRY: Little late for me to give you advice, isn’t it?
AUNT LAURA: Not for me. I made my choices. I lived with them. I couldn’t do what was right for me so I spent my life trying to do right for others. All the way to the end. I wanted to talk to you about my nephew, Ian.
HARRY: Ah, Ian, nice name. I like him.
AUNT LAURA: You mean the name.
HARRY: No, I mean him. I like him. If I were a younger man . . . you know me and nephews . . . but you’re his aunt, you probably want to be spared all those intimate details.
AUNT LAURA: You’ve met him? Are you serious?
HARRY: Yes, I brought him here.
AUNT LAURA: He’s here?
HARRY: Yes.
AUNT LAURA: At this gathering?
HARRY: How can I be clearer than yes? Yes, he’s here, in these mountains, in this forest. He’s here, he’s queer, and he’s happy for the first time in his life.
AUNT LAURA: Excuse me, but I always made him happy.
HARRY: Happy in his freedom, then, in his newfound self-identity.
AUNT LAURA: How did you do it?
HARRY: I didn’t. He did.
AUNT LAURA: Harry, I could kiss you.
HARRY: You could, and I’ll imagine it’s your nephew.
(Aunt Laura slaps his shoulder as he laughs)
AUNT LAURA: Where is he? I have to see him.
HARRY: I left him with a bunch of faeries up on the hill. They’re planning a theatrical production. Perhaps we should go watch it.
AUNT LAURA: Perhaps? We must.
(Lights to black)
SCENE ELEVEN:
(Lights up on a rehearsal; John is working with Ian)
JOHN: You’re perfect for the part. Having just come out yourself you should be able to feel the significance of all of this in your body. (Jimmy, Aaron, Randy, & Ingrid enter) At least that makes sense to me. (Noticing the others) Hello. Are you joining the production?
JIMMY: I think all of us are in, and we brought costumes, too.
JOHN: Great. I’m White-Tail and I’m helping put it all together. The script’s already written. A bunch of the girls worked on it earlier today.
(John starts to pass out papers; Ingrid sees Ian for the first time and crosses to him; Aaron, Randy, & Jimmy all sit)
AARON: White-tail?
JOHN: Of course that’s my faerie name. My other name’s John.
INGRID: Ian.
AARON: Faerie name?
IAN: Ingrid.
(Ian and Ingrid hug; they talk to each other and listen to the others at the same time; they hug or touch at various points throughout the following)
JOHN: Are all of you new here?
RANDY: Yeah, we are.
INGRID: Oh, my God. It’s so good to see you.
JOHN: All right.
INGRID: And here of all places.
JOHN: In that case let me explain.
IAN: It is a gathering.
JOHN: When you come to a gathering, usually the first time, you take on a new faerie name that you use whenever we gather. It can be whatever you want it to be, though typically you tend to hear a lot of flowers and animals because we’re so nature-based. As long as it fits you and who you are that’s what’s important.
IAN: I’m gay now.
JIMMY: How do you get one? Is it picked for you?
INGRID (laughing a bit): Now?
JOHN: Flowers are picked for you. Flower names, you decide for yourself . . .
IAN: I guess always. I guess you knew that.
JOHN: . . . though sometimes someone will label you and it will stick.
IAN: I just didn’t recognize the truth of it.
JOHN: And if you change . . .
IAN: I haven’t changed.
JOHN: . . . you can always change your name at a later date.
IAN: I just accepted myself.
JOHN: A lot of them come when we sit around in a circle and share of ourselves. Some come during other rituals. Some just come.
AARON: Like Randy.
JIMMY: Aaron.
INGRID: Laura’s here, too.
IAN: What?
INGRID: She’s resting. We can go see here when this is done.
(They hold each other)
RANDY (to John): How did you get White-tail?
AARON: I’ll bet someone saw his ass when he was naked.
JIMMY: Aaron!
JOHN: I never thought of that interpretation, but I’m afraid you might be right on that one. No, I got it once when I went into the woods for a private prayer moment. As I was asking the earth goddess for a sign about something—I don’t remember what now—she delivered a white-tailed deer. I looked up and it was standing so close to me I could smell it. She looked directly into my soul, I swear, and I knew then that was my faerie name.
RANDY (standing): I’m Slate.
AARON: Oh, come on. That is just way too butch for this place.
JIMMY: I like it. It has Hollywood written all over it.
JOHN: Really, there is no butch or femme here. Gay or straight, male or female, none of that has meaning here. Labels have no meaning here, except for those that we choose for ourselves. I think we’ve allowed ourselves to be oppressed by labels for too long. If Slate has meaning to him, then Slate he is. (John crosses and hugs Randy) Welcome to the gathering, Slate.
RANDY: Thanks, White-tail. It’s nice meeting you.
JOHN: Likewise. Shall we rehearse?
JIMMY: Is there a princess? I want to play the princess.
AARON: As long as you know who the queen is.
JOHN: Let’s look at the script.
(Lights to black)
SCENE TWELVE:
(There is the sound of drumming in the dark; lights up on platform; Ian is on stage, naked, in a fetal position, with his back to the audience; John is at the up stage right corner of the platform, beating a drum; Aaron is up stage left of the platform, holding a script; Harry is up stage right and Aunt Laura up stage left as far as they can be; the following narration is acted out by the others)
AARON (reading): In the beginning and before the beginning was nothing, Darkness. It was the longest darkest day of Eternity. And then the Creator said, I will create something out of this Nothing. The Creator first gave birth to the Sun, putting Light in the Darkness. But the Sun tired and had to rest and left the Sky black again. So the Creator gave the Sun a sibling, the Moon, and set the Moon in the Sky opposite the Sun. The Creator then created all the Planets, including Earth, and the Stars and Galaxies and the Eternal beyond. Some of the Planets were made of gas, some were solid, but all were barren Orbs. Of these Earth was the one that was sad to have no life. Earth was barren and wanted children. Together the Creator and Earth bore the trees and all living plants, the bears and all living animals, the rocks and all inanimate objects, the clouds and everything in the atmosphere, and finally, people. None of these creations looked like the Creator, yet they all looked like the Creator. None of these were of the Earth, yet they were all of the Earth. All was connected. Eventually the people started to create and they developed egos and greed and forgot which parts of themselves were like the Creator and they separated from the Creator and the Earth. They forgot that All was connected and could no longer see the connections. They lost touch with the Creator and with the Earth. The Creator brought floods and disaster upon them to show them they had to return to union with the One. The people wept in fear and shame. The Creator saw that they wanted to return, so the Creator and Earth bore the Two-Spirit to help them. The Two-Spirit was given the gift of double vision. The Two-Spirit could stand on both sides of a chasm, could understand both masculine and feminine, could build a rainbow to bridge the Earth and Sky. The Two-Spirits could stand in light and shadow. The Two-Spirits became shamans and healers. Those who were not Two-Spirits and who were not on the right path to union with the One feared their power, which is simply love. So Two-Spirits had to live away from the main community. Because of fear Two-Spirits were often killed. Those who feared did not understand that anything that came from the Creator is what it was meant to be and should be respected. Each time one Two-Spirit was killed the Creator gave the gift of two more. Now there are many Two-Spirits in every community. They are there to build rainbows between all that is separated from itself, and all that is separated from Other, and all that is separated from the One and the All. They stand on the arc of every rainbow you see.
(The drumbeat comes to a halt; the group stops and absorbs their myth for a moment; Laura exits; after a moment Ian exits; Harry follows him off stage)
AARON: I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m starting to like this place.
JIMMY: I knew you would.
RANDY: I like my new name.
JOHN: Harry would’ve loved that myth.
RANDY: Harry’s your partner?
JOHN: Yes.
INGRID: Where is he?
JOHN: He couldn’t make it here physically. But I know he’s here in spirit. I know if nothing else what we’re doing here is being carried to him on the wind. I know he would’ve loved that myth.
IAN (entering with some instruments): Let’s make some music.
JIMMY: Oh, cool.
AARON: There’s no dance floor.
JOHN: The earth is a dance floor.
JIMMY: Why do you always have to be so negative about everything? Just go with the flow for a change.
AARON: It’s more interesting going upstream.
(Aaron dances the swim for a moment; Jimmy laughs)
JIMMY (holding his hand out to Aaron): You know I love you. When was the last time I told you that?
AARON: You too, dear.
INGRID: You’re not going to play?
IAN: I’ll watch. Besides we have to go find Aunt Laura.
INGRID: We could dance.
IAN: I’m not comfortable dancing in public.
INGRID: You’re not comfortable dancing in public, playing music in public. You’re not comfortable talking in public. You know, you finally came out. (Randy shakes his maraca) You can let some of that other stuff go, too.
IAN: Did you not just see me on stage?
(Jimmy shakes his tambourine)
INGRID: Good point. I guess I forgot that was you. Okay, so you’ve let some inhibitions go. That’s funny. That was so not-you I forgot it was you.
IAN: I think I’m doing well with the inhibitions, and that was me. Moment by moment, Ingrid. Let’s go find Laura. I can’t wait to see her.
(The others start playing their instruments again as the lights go to black)
SCENE THIRTEEN:
(Lights up on Laura, lying on the platform; Ian and Ingrid enter)
IAN: Look, she’s sleeping.
INGRID: She was really tired before. It was quite the time getting here.
(Ingrid crosses and sits down next
to her; Ian takes a couple steps closer)
IAN: I don’t want to wake her up. She looks so peaceful.
INGRID (realizing): Ian. (He steps toward her) Ian.
IAN: What?
INGRID: I don’t think we can wake her up.
IAN: What?
INGRID: I don’t think we can wake her up.
IAN: Oh, no.
INGRID: I’m so sorry. I’ll go get someone to help. (They look at each other; she hugs him) I’m sorry.
(Ingrid exits; Ian looks at Aunt Laura for a few moments, then sits beside her and gently strokes her hair)
IAN: Oh, Laura, I never got to say good-bye. (Long pause) Good-bye. I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you’re here. Oh, my God, I can’t believe you’re not here. You were such a beautiful person—my favorite aunt, you know. I know you know that. Oh, and I so wanted to share all my discoveries with you. I wanted to talk with you about who I am, who I know I am now, because now I think—I know—you would have understood. I know you would have. (Realizing) Or you wouldn’t have come here, climbing mountains for me. (Slight pause) Remember how you used to take me into the woods? You taught me to love nature. You did. And then I forgot about it for a long time, set it aside, denied my own nature. (Looking around) And here we are in it again. (Pause) I feel at home. Nothing against you but I feel at home for the first time in my life. I feel at peace. And I know you do, too.
(Lights fade to black)
SCENE FOURTEEN:
(Lights up on John, Jimmy, Aaron, and Randy playing their instruments; the song ends)
JIMMY: That was fun. (Holding up his tambourine) You know what? I haven’t touched one of these since I was a child.
AARON: You are a child.
JIMMY: Thankfully, yes.
RANDY: I think that’s okay.
(Randy snuggles next to Aaron)
AARON: Honey, you were never a child. You were an old man the day you were born. Some people are like that, you know.
JOHN: I think he’s an old spirit.
(Ian and Ingrid enter)
JIMMY: Hi guys.
IAN: Hey.
JIMMY: Do you want to join us? We were just making music.
INGRID: We heard. It was nice.
AARON: Thanks, we made it ourselves.
JOHN: Would you care to join us? We could find more instruments. Or you could just sing or dance.
IAN: No, thanks. I don’t feel much like song right now.
AARON: Party pooper.
INGRID: His aunt just died.
RANDY: I’m sorry.
AARON: Forgive me, I didn’t know.
RANDY: When did you find out? Do you have to go home?
IAN: She’s here.
JIMMY: Here?
INGRID: Laura.
JIMMY: Not that sweet woman who came with you?
INGRID: Yeah.
JIMMY: She seemed so nice. That was your aunt? Girls, we shouldn’t have left her alone. I’m feeling really guilty right now.
IAN: It was her time. There was nothing you could do.
JIMMY: I feel bad for you.
(Jimmy crosses and hugs Ian)
IAN: Thank you.
(Jimmy crosses back and sits again)
RANDY: Whatever we can do.
IAN: Nothing you can do.
JOHN: I think now would be a good time for a circle.
RANDY: Circle?
AARON: It’s a line that has no beginning and no end.
(Jimmy and Randy look at Aaron disapprovingly)
JOHN: It’s a time when all of us sit and just share some of ourselves with each other. We take turns talking about whatever each of us feels the need to talk about. (To Ian) I think it would be good for you. If you don’t want to talk you don’t have to talk. Everyone’s words or silence are respected. Usually some kind of talisman is passed around and whoever is holding it is the only person who is allowed to speak. They can speak for as long or short a time as they’d like, as long as they’re holding the talisman.
INGRID: That sounds like it could be really nice.
IAN: I don’t think so.
JOHN: Circles can be very healing.
IAN: I’m not comfortable talking in groups.
JIMMY: He said . . .
JIMMY & JOHN: . . . you don’t have to talk.
INGRID: Come on, Ian. What else are you going to do? At least here you’ll be around supportive people.
JOHN: Please stay. Stay with us, share with us. The group will be with you. We may help you start to heal. We’ll give you space for this and anything else you’re dealing with. Come, come join the circle—you’ll see.
IAN (giving in): Okay, I’ll do it, as long as I don’t have to talk.
JOHN: You don’t have to talk. (All of them form a circle; as they do Harry enters from up stage right and Aunt Laura from up stage left; they cross and sit up stage of the others, just outside of the circle; during the circle they listen and may interact somewhat with each other) I guess, being as all of you are new to this, I’ll go first if you don’t mind. We just need to find something to use for a talisman. (John looks around for a rock or stick to use) Remember, he or she who holds the talisman is the only one to speak, regardless of whether you support or disagree with them. Respect. Oh, and one other thing. To show support it’s a tradition here that you hiss.
(John hisses to give them an example)
INGRID (producing a stone): Here, you can use this. It’s a stone I picked up in New Mexico when Laura and I were there. It’s from the home of her friend, Harry—I guess the guy who founded this group—from a pile of stones at a place . . . I can’t remember what it was called.
JOHN: Temenos.
INGRID: Yeah, Temenos. It was a place I guess he used to say was the home of native faeries, a place where they weren’t quite in the spirit world and not quite in the village. This stone is from that between place. It seems appropriate.
(She hands it to John)
JOHN (looking at the stone): I’m
White-tail. My partner, Harry, just
passed away two days ago, right before we were to leave for this gathering. (Holding the stone up) He was the man from New Mexico, where we
used to live, where I—actually we—owned a kaleidoscope factory. This shows me how small our world is and how
large our circles are. And I would
agree that this stone, from that place, is wildly appropriate for this place
and this moment. (Harry starts to reach
out toward John) Harry wanted to come
to this gathering so badly. He said he
felt he was being called here . . .
INGRID: Aunt Laura said that, too.
(Harry pulls his hand back)
IAN (nudging her): Shh.
JOHN: It’s all right. It’s something I’ve been hearing from many, many people about this gathering. Over and over I’ve been told, I felt called to come here. Harry told me he felt called to this one. He desperately wanted to be here, but obviously he didn’t make it. So I had to come for him, with him, for myself, by myself—for the first time in years, by myself—I had to come here for both of us. He would have wanted it. I know that, though it felt strange to leave. I left his body with friends to take care of the arrangements. They have his body, I have his spirit, the earth has his soul. (Looking at Ian) I know what you’re feeling, young man, but you are not alone. I am not alone. As long as there is this circle of loving faeries we will not be alone. (Slight pause) I have nothing more to say.
(John passes the stone to Aaron and gives him a hug)
AARON: What am I supposed to say after that? (John taps his leg in support) Oh, by the way, I’m Aaron. I don’t have a faerie name yet. (Pause) Okay, well that’s his thing and I’m sorry for it, but I have to speak for me. So here goes. I’ll tell you, when I first heard about these circles I thought about what I’d say, and I thought that no matter what I said everyone would think I was going on a bit too long, so I’ll try to keep it short, though anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like anything short. I came here, like White-tail here, for a friend. I really didn’t want to be here. In fact the last place I wanted to be was here. Queens and mosquitoes, my dears, are not a good combination. And while we like wood, we are not the woodsy type. I only came because my best friend, Jimmy, felt called—there it is again—to be here, and so Randy and I said yes, we’d come with him. Only now I sort of don’t want to leave. I’m not sure I should talk about this, but . . . well . . . you may have noticed I’m a little heavier than most, let’s just put it that way. But the thing is it feels like nobody here did notice, or care. I can’t believe first, I did this and second, I’m talking about it, but I took my clothes off in the middle of a frickin’ field and ran around like I was a little boy again. Sissy-boy, no doubt, but a little boy, a child. I haven’t felt so free in a long time. So I guess that’s it. I just wanted to offer up some kind of thanks for that. (He starts to pass the stone on to Randy, but stops) Oh, and my faerie name came to me just now. I’m Dandelion Wisp.
(Aaron passes the stone to Randy and hugs him)
RANDY: I’m Slate. I don’t really have much to say. I’m sorry to hear the news the two of you are going through. I’m really, really happy about my Dandelion Wisp and I’m thinking if I blow that Dandelion Wisp we may both get our wish. (Pause; he looks at the stone, Aaron, and the circle) You are a rock, and upon this rock I build my church. (Pause) This is nice. It’s community. Friends, family. I’m glad I’m here. I guess that’s it.
(Randy passes the stone to Jimmy and hugs him)
JIMMY: Oh, girl, where do I start? I guess I’ll start with my name. I’m Jimmy. (Pause, then to John and Ian) I am so, so sorry about your loss. It’s one of the mysteries of life, when we’re going to go. Nobody knows, of course. If there’s anything I can . . . I’m sorry, I feel so foolish. Nobody ever knows what to say about these things. No matter what I say it’s going to sound silly and meaningless when you’re feeling your loss to the depths of your souls. I feel like I have nothing to offer you. But I am sorry you both are having to go through it now. I really am. I do feel it. I think I’m empathic that way. It’s one of those gay things, you know. Okay, I’ll shut up about that now. Sorry. (Pause) I don’t want to be selfish but I do want to talk for myself for a bit now. First I have to thank Aaron and Randy for joining me here. They didn’t have to come. They didn’t really want to, I don’t think. But they did it to support me and I love them for that. You guys are the best friends . . . (Pause) Okay, I’m going to get to me. Forgive me if I take up too much . . . no, I’m censoring myself. I’m not going to do that. I’m going to lay it out. Here’s the deal. I am so, so tired of the bar and drug, sex and drag scenes in my life. (Putting his hand to the top of his forehead) I have had it up to here with it, with how empty it is. And now that I think about it I find it funny that I could have it up to here (Putting his hand up again) with emptiness. See, the thing is I have felt empty inside for a long, long time, and I tried to fill that emptiness with hundreds of acquaintances and sex partners, scores of drugs, booze, parties, and all of it meant nothing. Oh, it was fun, but it meant nothing. It was only escape. From myself. And then I saw an ad for this gathering and something about it called to me. I wanted to come here, but I was afraid to at the same time. Honestly I was afraid it would be nothing more than more sex and drugs and partying and I’d want to slit my wrist by the time it was done. That’s why I wanted friends to come along. What I wanted, what I really wanted, was to find myself, to strip away the hard shell I had built up around myself and get to the soft center inside. I think I’m doing that. So far this has been so freeing for me that I can hardly believe it. I think for the first time in my life the thought, the idea of suicide is not with me. It’s always been with me. (To Aaron and Randy) You guys never knew that. It’s always been at the very least hidden in the bottom of my pocket waiting for me to take it out. I hid it well. You guys never knew that. But now you do, and I’m okay with that. Because now I’m facing myself and I’m facing my friends and I’m facing strangers and I’m being honest about who and what I am in a way that I have never been before, not even as a child. (Randy and Ingrid both reach over and touch him) I’m feeling the love. At this moment I’m feeling the love. I can be me. I can be the sissy-girl I am and the strong man I am and all the in-between stuff I am and I realize that just like Aaron’s weight nobody gives a shit. I can celebrate me for who I am and you celebrate that with me. In this world that’s a miracle. Thank you, all of you. My only fear now is that I’m afraid I won’t ever want to leave this fairyland again. (Ian hisses) I mean, really, how can I go home again? Who willingly leaves so much love? I know I’ll be back. I’ll take the love with me. (Pause, then to Ingrid) Honey, take this rock from me before I say anymore.
(Jimmy passes the stone to Ingrid and hugs her)
INGRID: I’m Ingrid. I don’t know why I’m here. I decided to take a trip and I ended up doing it with Aunt Laura, a woman I’ve always loved, and who made me love her even more on our trip. She lived a full life and somehow we all ended up here. Ian knows that—that she lived well—and I think that makes it easier to let go. Ian, I’m sad for your loss, but it’s balanced out by how happy I am for your gains. You’ve grown so much since you left on your journey. My only disappointment is that I couldn’t have been there to grow with you, to walk with you as you came to this point. I’m your best friend, you know, and it would have been nice to be there with you and see it happen. Either way I love you for who you are and who you have always been. I don’t really have anything to say about myself. I’m straight, and I’m a woman, but after getting to know you guys I feel like I have some kind of fairy spirit, too.
(Ingrid passes the stone to Ian and hugs him; he doesn’t speak right away)
IAN: My name’s Ian. I really wasn’t going to say anything, but now I feel like I have to. Not because of peer pressure or anything but just because I feel moved to speak. It seems that’s what these circles are about, aren’t they? Here’s my little story. I left my house on a journey and found myself along the way. I didn’t know where I was going, or why, but along the way I figured out and accepted who I am. And I was apparently guided here by this Harry who keeps coming up. I was hitchhiking and out of nowhere there he was, this elder gay spirit . . . I can’t explain him . . . and I don’t know why but I trusted him. He was sort of crazy, really, sort of irritating. He kept saying things to make me face myself and I’d find myself getting mad at him but getting honest at the same time. Finally, somehow, he broke through, and I told him things that I had completely forgotten about, memories that were buried so far back I didn’t even know they were there, until suddenly I was screaming in the middle of the highway, “I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay” and it was such a relief that I fell down laughing in the road, only to open my eyes and find out that I was all alone. Sometimes, I guess, that’s what that realization does. It gives you joy that you can finally admit who you are, until you realize that you are all alone. So after that I found my way here, and here we are. (Pause) I don’t know what to say about my aunt. She was my favorite. She taught me more than anyone else in this world and I will always love her for it. But somehow I feel good about it. I feel good that it all ended here. I don’t know why.
(Ian hands the stone back to Ingrid and hugs her; she takes his hand and then Jimmy’s; John reaches out for Aaron’s hand, and then Ian’s; Jimmy takes Randy’s hand; Randy and Aaron are already holding hands; there is a moment of silence before John speaks)
JOHN: I guess the circle is complete.
(John rises and hugs Ian; Aaron and Randy hug, then both hug Jimmy; Ingrid hugs Ian; Aaron and Randy exit, with Randy gently slapping Aaron’s butt on the way out; Jimmy looks at Ian and Ingrid, looks at where the circle was, and exits at the same time as John exits opposite; Harry and Aunt Laura remain seated up stage)
INGRID: I love you, Ian.
IAN: You too.
INGRID: What now?
IAN: I don’t know. I’m going to stay for the rest of the gathering—you should, too—and then I’ll see from there.
INGRID: You’re not going home to the funeral?
IAN: No need. I said good-bye.
INGRID: I’m a little tired from everything. I think I need to rest.
IAN: Sure.
INGRID: Are you going to be okay?
IAN: I think so.
(Ingrid exits; Ian stands alone, looking off into the distance; some music can be heard nearby, an old spiritual with overlaid drumming; Ian starts to sway to it a bit; Harry stands up behind him)
HARRY: Nice music. It comes from the heart.
IAN (turning): I must be crazy.
HARRY: Why, you don’t like it?
IAN: No, it’s nice.
HARRY: You know I told you once that some day we shall dance. I’d like to fulfill that promise.
(He holds his hand out to Ian who takes it; Harry shows him a couple steps, a dance almost like the Charleston; they start to dance to the music; Laura stands at some point during this; Harry and Ian dance through a couple verses, then Harry lets go and exits; Ian turns to see Aunt Laura; she crosses to him and he offers her his hand; they dance, a bit slower than the previous dance, through a couple more verses, then Aunt Laura breaks away and exits; Ian continues dancing, but with no one in his arms; Jimmy enters up left and watches for a few moments; Ian sees him and stops)
JIMMY: You know, it might be nicer dancing with someone.
IAN: Sure.
(Ian holds his hand out to Jimmy, who takes it; they dance as the lights fade away; the music plays out for a short time in the dark)